Thursday, March 6, 2014

Like A Fish Out Of Water


When I was a child, and I must confess as an adult as well,


I did not like to watch a fish when it was caught and brought ashore.


I had to look away to not watch it suffer. 


If I may use a reverse anthropomorphic analogy here, 
 this is exactly how I initially felt this past week.


I really was 'a fish out of water'.


Ron being in the hospital and requiring close supervision and care was all new to us.


One can imagine how he felt......
being prodded with needles, hourly blood pressure readings,


first-time meds, not knowing what caused this heart attack, and what the future holds.


Ron had all the experience in all this stuff, not me!
He was the one that nursed me back to health after my concussion....
for a year. And then again after my heart attack a year later.


So what would I do?
I looked back to when he looked after his mother when she was not well,
and also when he looked after me.


This was invaluable experience for me to have witnessed.
And I have been using all of this.

The first couple of days I felt like that fish above.

This is a glazed ceramic Codfish that we got in St.John's, Newfoundland.

Now I am doing just fine.... as if I was 'thrown back into the water'
(as a few lucky fish are)
and swimming through this health event.
But more importantly, taking good care of Ron.

 




39 comments:

  1. Yes - this is a very good post, Jim. I know that my husband felt the same way. I was the patient, but he was also suffering. It took time, patience, compassion, and education for us both to start "swimming" again. I think of you and Ron often. (I love the fish!)

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    1. Thanks Barb. I had trouble doing this post because I didn't want it to be all about me. Then I thought that the caregiver does have a lot of pressure in times like this.....as you know.
      it was just how I was feeling....a little uneasy at first but not for long when I knew there was something very important for me to do.
      We will 'tread water' for a few more days then we will start up a few 'laps'!

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  2. you two are so lucky to have each other. i could never fish either. i hate it when people say fish don't feel the hook. everything feels stuff. people can be so stupid! i think you will both be fine!

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    1. Thanks so much Joyce! We do not take out relationship for granted, that's for sure.
      I think we'll be fine too.

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  3. Sounds like you've learned from the best!

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    1. You could say that Debra. Thanks and have a great 'break'!

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  4. You will do a great job helping Ron get back to good health.
    The ceramic fish is beautiful.

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    1. Thanks Pat.
      I loved that fish the moment I set eyes on it.

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  5. I think you're doing a great job. How could you not? You have had great teachers!

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  6. How's Ron?
    I was thinking of sending him chicken soup

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    1. John, Ron had his first day out yesterday with 'camera in hand'. He can't drive for a month (the law here in Nova Scotia) so I will the be driver.
      a couple of the meds , the beta-blocker and the blood pressure one, are making him a bit tired and the blood thinner one he is on for a year when the stents will have settled in, is making him cold......come on summer!!
      One day at a time. thanks for asking.
      Thanks for the chicken soup John! It was delicious Ron said!! It's the thought that counts!

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  7. I don't like to see the fish suffer either, I like it when they are given a second chance and put back for them to swim off and carry on living a fish' life, much like yourself and Ron, you can both go on swimming, even if you may have to change swimming patterns and habits.

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    1. Hey you, Ms.Hayley-Eszti! So good to see you. Since Ron and I are good 'swimmers' (in and out of the water) we plan to adapt to our new surroundings and swim away!
      Thanks so much H-E !

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  8. We all need to get those proverbial 'sea-legs' after something like this has happened. Even though I am in the health care field, have assisted in many surgeries, I can just about look at anything, but when Carl fell off the barn roof last year, I couldn't look at the wound or even think about doing anything such as a bandage change etc. But the home nurse gave me no choice, and I did--I don't know how, but I did, and I got pretty good at caring for him, just like you have with Ron!

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    1. Isn't it amazing Kim how these 'things' just click in when we know we HAVE to be there for our loved ones. Must be human nature for most people.
      I am getting those 'sea-legs' and will keep them for a bit.
      Thanks Kim.

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  9. Jim, you will have inner strength this time just as Ron did when he looked after you. Like a fish, swim with the tide, try not to go against the flow, and in time this will all be lots easier. I know you will be on edge, the constant lookout, as some of us here have been, so natural .just take one day as it dawns. Big hugs, Jean.

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    1. Jean thanks. I know you have just had a recent scare with Hugh's health. I hope everything is AOK now!
      Yes we are taking one day as it dawns Jean as I am sure you are right now.
      take care.

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  10. Ron was so there for you in the past, and I know that you are so there for him now, Jim. Isn't it wonderful that you have each other! I know you are finding your way, and it can be scary and difficult; but, you are doing the absolute best you can. I can't imagine you doing anything less! That's what love is all about!

    The worst thing is being sick and alone. I remember when I was new to Denver and so far away from my family. I'll never forget how alone I felt when I got the flu really bad. Just my Scottie and me. Let me tell you, as wonderful as MacBeath was, Scotties are not Labradoodles!

    Big hugs to you guys and a belly rub to SD!

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    1. That must have been an awful time for you Louise. Dogs are great but not like another human being there. Now though, you don't ever have to worry about that again.
      I am doing fine now.....I have a rhythm going!

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  11. Keep swimming, sweetie. I have faith in you.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Actually Janie, it was Ron who taught me how to really swim back in the mid 70's. I can keep up with the best of them!
      Thanks a lot Janie.

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  12. Hang in there, you have so many people pulling for you.

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    1. Yes we do Kay! I am sure you know the power of that too! Good to see you and thanks.

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  13. catch and release. You two/three will make it through this with the love, strenght and humour that I know you all have.

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    1. You know 'we three' very well then, Joanne! We are getting through this. Thank you. Spring yet in the US northwest?

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  14. Popping by this morning to see that tail and those fins cutting through the water! Take care!

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    1. That was US!, Louise! Well, me anyway.......Ron in a few weeks!
      We are taking care and know what has to be done.
      Have a great weekend.

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  15. hugs to you both-you two are in my thoughts-hugs for Sophie too

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    1. All is getting better by the day Kathy. Thanks so much for dropping by.

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  16. Best wishes to you both for speedy recovery. Change in life is the only certainty, and it all happens so unexpectedly in the twinkling of an eye. Spring is coming thankfully!

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    1. Mark, thank you. Good to see again again.
      You couldn't be more correct about the life' changes.
      Spring is coming.....I'll hold you to it!

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  17. I'm sure you're doing just fine, Jim. Take it one day at a time. This was a shock to you both, and I'm sure you were in a daze for awhile. A speedy recovery to Ron, and strength to you!

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    1. I am Martha. The shock is over and we are both pacing it out as best we can. Thanks.

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  18. Jim- Ron is so very lucky to have you-- I can't imagine that he could a ask for a better caregiver. We are all resting easier knowing that "you got this".

    Sending you both a great big hug--
    Vicki

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    1. Oh, that hug felt good Vicki! Thanks.
      We know we are lucky to have eachother.

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  19. That is love. Partners. Best friends. So fortunate, you too.

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  20. So sorry to hear about Ron's heart attack! I can imagine that you did feel like a fish out of water, but am confident, that you will rise to the challenge. Always a difficult thing to accept and act on new realities, and definitely it is a change to realize how fragile we are. Keeping you both in my thoughts.

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  21. Love gets you through. May this be so rare that you always feel at least a little like a fish out of water!

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