Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Making Up Stories

Even at my age I am learning more about myself.

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I had a 'Holter Monitor'
connected to me for 48 hours to find out certain things about my heart.

It was suspected that I may have 'Afib' (Arterial Fibrillation).
This is when one of the upper chambers of the heart goes a little wonky
and cause the heart to spasm/fibrillate.

Last year I had a colonoscopy and had to be anesthetized.
In preparation for this the anesthetist thought he could 'see'
a little 'afib' happening.

He recorded this and sent the ECG report to my GP
who in turn called me in to discuss this finding.

He thought that at this point it was okay to not medicate
and said he would monitor me.

So a year went by and I had an appointment with my cardiologist.
She heard what the anesthetist 'found'
but disagreed with his findings.
And to make sure she ordered the Holter Monitor.

These past six weeks I have been awaiting the results.
As I am prone to do I expect the worse and go from there.
I have always done this for most of my life.....
I jump to the worst case scenario and hope for the best after that.

I must have, I know I did, learned this as a child, as a way of 
not getting my expectations too high as to the outcome.
I have always been aware that I do this and have been told so as well....
it is that obvious.

I stress myself out and imagine the worse to come.....
never thinking that I could be 'making up stories'
that have no substance to them.

I know this comes from having a mother who was sick
for most of my childhood and I thought, I guess, that
everything was much the same in life.....and would not get better,
so accept the inevitable.

I do try hard to stop this train of thinking
and for the most part I am successful.
But sometimes it gets carried away.

I saw the cardiologist yesterday.
The results were good!
No sign of 'Afib' at all.

All of these photos were taken by Ron on the weekend in the 'Hydrostone' area
in Halifax's North End.

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