Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Ramblin' Wednesday

Wish I could be more spontaneous at times, especially with these posts.

I have noticed that some bloggers appear to just start 'talking' and end up with a really good conversation going.

I guess I am too much of the 'want-to-control-the-post' kind of blogger.....have to know where it is going and don't trust myself just letting it go!

I do try at times to just 'empty' my brain.....but it is so against my nature. Guess you could call me a 'control' freak.

Dropped in to see my Dad today by myself. I wanted to ask him how it was doing. A few of us sibs were concerned about all the daily 'alone time' he has.

He was sitting in his chair reading the paper. And whenever anyone shows up, he stops what he is doing and gives you his full attention.

I have often wandered what it was really like for him on a daily basis. Here he is, a man who has had a very full life raising nine kids and caring for a wife who was often not well enough to do anything.

He worked very hard to support us by selling cars. That's right, selling cars. Sometimes if he didn't sell anything, he wouldn't make any money that week! Thankfully, he managed to get on salary as well as commission.

He said today that he didn't know how he did it at times. I said that things were different 'back then' and that he didn't spend money frivolously.....didn't smoke, drink and didn't have much of a 'social' life. 

I often wandered as did they do it? I can barely look after myself, let alone 11 people!

Usually there is someone there every day to bring lunch....but that is only for an hour at the most. We are thinking about getting someone for 2-3 hours a day....just to be there to keep him company and to do 'light house chores'. We'll see.

I just can't imagine what it is like for him at this stage in his life. The good thing is that he is still in his own home and does have a family who takes care of his needs. We hope he will be in his house forever and will not have to go to a nursing home.

Gee, this wasn't so bad. I actually just rambled on, in a way. I'm learning.


  1. These rosehip photos are the perfect illustration for your post about your Dad.

  2. Yep, Deb is right about the rose hip. It's kind of sad all alone, yet bright and cheery.

    Take it from one, who is alone most of the time - get your Dad someone to do the light housework - not so much for the housework, but for the company, for a warm body in the house. He may say no, but if you say "maybe just a trial", that would work.

    I don't know what you are talking about - your posts are always just fine.

  3. Okay. So I thought I clicked on Inger's blog... and I thoughtlessly began reading... and thinking that her father was living and she had went to see him. I read this entire post still thinking I was reading Inger's blog. Bobbi needs another vacation!! haha.
    Jim. This is such a sweet post... I love (so much!) to hear about the elderly, their life styles back in the day, their stories. It's probably why I've chosen to work with them most of my life in one way or another... It sounds like your Dad does very well on his own and I hope he can stay there for the rest of his life. He is so blessed to have a caring family behind him. It's funny how our parents take care of us growing up, then we wind up taking care of them.
    Great job at rambling Jim!!! BUT> you still seemed pretty much in control.

  4. You rambled just fine! And, I understand your concern about your Dad. But, I'm sure you will check with him first, to see if he wants someone around for a few hours each day. Maybe he likes the alone time. Of course, that comes from someone who is a born loner and loves her time alone with her cats, even if she doesn't see another human face for a few days.

  5. No one's father could be like my father-in-law. At 92, we have gotten him "house-keepers" as well as a house-mate over the years. Everytime, he hits on them. The house-mate we tried was a man and he accused him of stealing things that he'd simply misplaced. And was upset that the house-mate didn't make him his meals. We can't keep anyone for more than two weeks.

    Your Dad seems a little nicer though. Give it a try.

  6. Speaking as someone who is an expert at rambling, you did good, bro! Please be careful when hiring someone to go into your dad's home--my father's first aide (from a certified agency) turned out to be a kleptomaniac AND a user. Your dad probably enjoys much of his alone time and appreciates your efforts to visit.

  7. What Louise said is what I was thinking too.
    When we all get older, the same thing will be said about us and how we managed to get through the tough times. Well, we just do it! Just like your Dad did.
    I really admire your relationship you have with your Dad. Your concern, your unconditional love, everything.
    You have such a good soul and heart. xoxo

  8. Oh, Bobbi, I love how we are all reading each other's blogs. Jim, I love this post. I love to be alone -- I know I'm not as old as your dad, but if he has interests in life and he has his kids to come by, I am not sure he needs more company. Can you ask him? Maybe he enjoys his solitude after all those years with ten of you. You certainly are in control of your camera. Those are some gorgeous pictures again.--Inger

  9. Stopping over from Canyon Girl's Blog -- hope you don't mind. :)

    Interesting post about your father. For rambling, I should do so good!

  10. I loved your rambles -ramble on ! I`am sure your dad appreciates the odd caller popping in for a chat now and again- he is lucky to have such a large family around him

  11. Yea! I'm learning to let, a little, and just 'release'!!! Thanks guys!
    Thanks for comments re Dad. It has turned to a safety issue the past couple of months....he has slipped and fell twice with nobody there! AT least if a couple of more hours were 'covered' he would be safer and we would be more at ease. Stay tuned and thanks for input all.

  12. Hiya Jim, that was a lovely post, with your usual wonderful pics! Blimey, you came from a family of nine children? You are always full of surprises! I am with you - get someone in to be with your dad at least a couple of hours a day .... if that is what he wants.

    If he doesn't want it, maybe you could get him one of those alarms that he can wear round his neck, and sound if he falls again

  13. Annie, he does have one of those alarms and is constantly setting it off by mistake!

  14. It's so hard to know what to do as our parents age. My Mom wanted to stay in her home when she was very ill. We kept her home and got her care, and still worried if we were doing the right thing. It's hard. (((hugs)))

  15. People in the old days made it because they had to,folks can do the same today even if they think they can't at first.You dad is blessed to have so many looking after him.

  16. OK I may have commented twice,I thought I clicked the page off before it went through...but maybe just ignore my craziness if there are 2!

  17. That was a lovely ramble. I love all your posts, Ramblings or not! xxx
    P.S. Will gets his lovely eyes from his dad!

  18. I always say about myself that I can talk for an hour just about the color orange and even longer about Goldens, but I'm like you with blog posts--Believe it or not!

    I enjoyed the post about your dad. How wonderful that he's able to be home and have people who care about him nearby. I have to be honest and say that I wonder if I'll be so blessed and lucky!

  19. it is difficult to switch roles with our parent... but it sounds like you are all doing what you can and doing it well. do you ever bring him to your home for the day? here we have respit programs for the elderly, usually covered by health ins. they pay a "sitter" to come by and keep him company, do light house work, play cards... whatever your dad would like to do. you can usually call the office on aging to get in touch, if you even have it in canada. i am sure your dad knows and feels how loved he is, and that my friend, is the best you can give him.

  20. I guess I'll continue to 'ramble'! That appears to be the general consensus. I've been told that I do have a tendency to 'go on'.

    Kim, I have wondered that myself especially that we don't have kids to be there........oh well, I think I'll live in the present for now and let what happens......happen.

    Chris, Dad likes where he is and couldn't stand being somewhere else.....very 'set' in his ways. Yes , we have what is called 'home care here in Nova Scotia. Dept of Health wants people to stay in their homes as long as possible. So there is $$$ available to cover this for everyone who needs it. That's why our taxes are so much higher here in Canada....but it is SO worth it to have good (albeit not perfect) health care for questions asked by insurance companies!!


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