Thursday, August 2, 2012

Thinking/Quoting Out Loud




The following quote was written by Charles Buxton in 1873.

 It was brought to my attention by a family member recently.

Unless your family is the exception, I think most of us could heed the lesson from this.


"The great want in family life that strikes me is this, 
that there are so few tete-a-tetes.

You live on from year's end to year's end,
surrounded by those whom you love, and chatting together;
but it is rare to be thrown alone with any one individual
and have really intimate talk with him or her.

Yet the difference in value is immense between mere social chat
and that mingling of mind with mind,
which is impossible if others are by.

But the real fact is, that unless some effort is made for it,
or unless circumstances are unusually favorable,
the very members of the same family live,
one might say,
on parallel lines,
without ever touching."

28 comments:

  1. Oh my God, Jim, I think I get this one! You must be rubbing off on me. But in the platonic way!
    m.

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  2. So true. I do at times enjoy those special tete-a-tetes with family members. Those moments can be very rewarding. But, I also have extended family I regret talking with at that level. Sometimes shallow conversations (and brief at that) are the best course!

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    1. I agree Mitch, being discriminating before crossing those 'parallel lines' is a must. and there is something to say about shallow conversations....they come in handy!

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  3. i do not spend a lot of time with my family, at my choice. they don't live near me at all, which is a factor. this summer i spent a week with them in missouri, and during our 4th of july bbq i made an effort to have real conversations with people i had not seen in 35 years, and it was wonderful. i remember thinking that i had that choice, that i could just sit there with my plate and everyone around until it was over and the only that would have been shared was food, or i could find out about their lives. i am so glad i chose the latter.

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    1. See, it does work! And you are living proof Tony.So many of us decide to just sit with our plates on our lap....it is easier that way. Don't you think one would have to be pretty secure with themselves before deciding to put their 'plates' down and venture forward?

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  4. Probably even more true (can that be possible?) than in 1873.
    The lighting on the petunia is gorgeous.

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    1. So many more demands for our attention and energy these days.....
      The shadow in the back made this blossom 'pop'.

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  5. Cannot help but smile at that.

    Some family members I wouldn't want to be stuck in a room with let alone a one on one. Oil and water.....

    That said, I never knew my Cousin Janet well, for years she was just out there. We got together nearly 5 years ago and she has become my weekly call to reality and fun. Late in our game but better late than never!

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    1. Never too late and see and hear what you mean Sharon.

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  6. I guess it all depends on whether you can get along or not. Sometimes there are toxic family members that you can't (and probably shouldn't) spend more time with than necessary. But if you're a loving family, it's nice to have special moments like that.

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    1. Now isn't that true Martha. Doesn't make any sense to pursue this with people who aren't receptive and who 'don't know the language'.

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  7. So true! We do lose sight of intimacy in the daily grind of family life.

    Gorgeous flower shot too!

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    1. Thanks Fiona. We do all get involved with all that really doesn't matter in the big scheme of things!!

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  8. just caught up with the blogs... loved the pride dogs!

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    1. Well thank you Mr Gray! You could have a parade of your own in the village with your menagerie!

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  9. I'm lucky to have a brother that I can share my inner self with. With most of my family members, it's pretty much surface stuff.

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    1. I have to learn how to employ the 'surface stuff'.....was never much good at that but finally see the benefit.....keeping your sanity!!! lol

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  10. oh, I am a HUGE fan of tete a tete! Huge! I prefer it in fact. I'm always having them with the people I love the best. What a lovely post Jim. And damn it, but I thought I'd put you on my blog roll, but apparently dreamed it, and that blog roll is basically my brain. It reminds me to visit the people I enjoy!

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    1. Thanks Karen, now snap to it and get me there....lol! Kidding!
      I guess I have to remember to stick with the people I know who will be receptive to tet-a-tetes.

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  11. Things haven't changed all that much since 1873 have they? Lovely flower shot♫♪

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    1. Guess it hasn't changed much.....we are basically the same in so many ways. Good to meet you.....come by again.

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  12. I believe you've found the key to putting up with the family for so long. As you know, I too come from a large one and I know that to keep it simple and don't get too deep is the only way to go with more than one sibling.

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    1. Better late than ever Stew! lol Never too old to learn.

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  13. Jim- I've never read this quote before-- but I'm telling you-- it's truth is incredible. Amazing and so very true---
    Vicki

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  14. Everyone deserves a chance for a tete de tete..........wonderful results.....

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Hey, I really like your comments and appreciate the time you took to do so.

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