The following quote was taken from:
Heart Advice: Weekly Quotes from Pema Chodron
This particular quote was from her book: When Things Fall Apart
DRIVE ALL BLAMES INTO ONESELF
"There's a slogan in the Mahayana teachings that says,
'Drive all blames into oneself.'
The essence of this slogan is, 'When it hurts so bad, it's because
I am hanging on so tight.'
It's not saying that we should beat ourselves up. It's not advocating
martyrdom. What it implies is that pain comes from holding
so tightly to having it our own way and that one of the main exits
we take when we find ourselves so uncomfortable,
when we find ourselves in an unwanted situation or an
unwanted place, is to blame.
This slogan is a helpful and interesting suggestion that we
could begin to shift that deep-seated, ancient,
habitual tendency to hang on to having everything on our
own terms. The way to start would be,
first, when we feel the tendency to blame, to try to get in touch with
what it feels like to be holding on to ourselves so tightly."