Tuesday, July 6, 2010

OMG ! I Think I'm Living with My Mother-in-Law

Have you ever noticed that on occasion your wife/husband/partner turn into one of their parents....right before your eyes!

This has happened quite a bit lately. Might have been the 'little glint' of an eye, a gesture, a saying or a 'tone' and the dropping of a napkin (Ron's mom did this all the time as she stood up from the table, forgetting it was on her lap. After she died Ron started as well.......we both say,"Tommy (his mom) is here." 

Whatever, they are and do emerge....at the table, on the sofa, or in the bed !!!!! ( trust me, no improprieties intended).

I'm sure this occurs with most couples who have spent many years together. But it can become quite unnerving to say the least.

I know I become one of my parents every once in a while. Ron will say : 'Well, Mary Flo (my mom) or James F. (my dad)'. It kind of makes me STOP in my tracks! I think, oh god, is this really happening to me? And WHY?

Hey, I love my parents and who they were and are. It just kind of surprises you when this starts to happen. It's not always a negative thing. And regardless, there's not much we can do about it, even if we wanted to. We are our parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents and on and on......

This all reminds me of something I read by Thich Nhat Hanh in his book, You Are Here :" We are the recipients of a genetic inheritance that comes from our mother, our father, and all of our ancestors."

This could be a scary thought I'm sure. But when put into perspective, it is just how it is.....and get on with it!

So, the next time you are looking at your 'other' and he/she turns into the in-laws, don't be alarmed. It's something beyond their control.


  1. What disturbs me more is when I say something that sounds like *my* mother-in-law. I expect it of my husband, and I'm not surprised to hear my parents' influence on me. Every so often, though, "Mama Joan" comes from me. I have to think long and hard about my intentions when that happens. (Although she is a fine woman in her own right, she and I are very different, and often don't see eye to eye.)

  2. Pretty blooming progression!

    Yep, sooner or later, we become our parents, so sad!

  3. Yes Sharon but hopefully with a little twist!

    Java, ever think that maybe you wish you were something like her, in certain ways?

  4. After 36 years of marriage I have noticed that of late we seem to resemble Rhonda's late parents in many ways. I can see Jack (her Dad) in much of what I do as I age and every now and again I look at Rhonda and I am seeing her mother!

    I know there was once a very prominent psychology article that puported that many couples chose their partner based on the ideals they saw in their parents, however, to metamorph into our (late) 'in-laws' is a new twist. LOL

  5. Tee-hee. Yup that happens to us all it seems. Lovely pictures!

  6. We used to make fun of my in laws for always passing out on the couch "watching TV" by 6:30....now we are doing it too! We just look at each other and say,"when did we get old?"

  7. Both my husband and I refer to each other by our parents name because this happens to us all the time...I smiled thru reading this because it is so true!!

    As for my harliquin table top, I didn't refinish it because I have been wanting to do this to a table for a long time...and actually I have no need for this table and will try to sell it!! I just did it for fun...and it was probably less effort than refinishing it...thanks for stopping by!!

  8. I am slowly but surely turning into my mother...if hubby turns into his mother - I'm off !!!

    Thank you again - you seem to like my T Tuesday posts - I try to " think out of the box " as Kimmie our tea hostess puts it. I don't put up pictures of herb tea because I don't drink it !

    When I'm out walking with Dillon, I get ideas for posts. Glad you enjoy them.

  9. Yikes! For the first time ever, I find one of your blog posts jarring rather than soothing. For me, some of the qualities I share with my mother are alarming and unhealthy. Actually, I have begun therapy to stomp them out like a small fire in the middle of your living room floor.

    But that's just me.

  10. Thanks, Jabacue, for your kind response. I will definitely look into that book. I hope you understand, after reading your comment, I copied it to my private file, but deleted it from my blog comments. My mother, rather upsettingly, trolls my blog from time to time (some day I'll have to tell you how she found out about it, dummy me), and I didn't want her to follow you back to here and read what I commented. (See? I am currently very much struggling to be myself where she is involved.) I treasure your comment, though, and have preserved it for myself. Thank you so much.

  11. I know. I know. I know.

    My in-laws live with us half of the year and believe me, I know.

    Very pertinent topic!

  12. I do everything in my power to not turn in my mother!!! Not even one little trait will I allow.
    Great post!!

  13. I've been thinking about this a LOT lately, but was horrified to say it out loud. LOL OMGosh....at least I'm glad it seems to be a "normal" thing. Pam @ Sallygoodin


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